Why?

Why you remember or why you want to tell this story may be the most important question we can ask and the hardest to convey effectively in our writing.  Often, it feels that words fail to express the sheer import of events close to our hearts and many times the feelings and truths most clear and obvious to us are difficult to communicate.

Yet I certainly wouldn't stop trying.

So here are some ideas to help you think about locating and expressing your whys:

• Not in your story, but to yourself, fill in the blank to the sentence, "This story is important to me because ____________________."  
• Write and rewrite that sentence until you can succinctly state your because in less than 10 words.
• Don't be afraid if it doesn't come out right away.  Big feelings and big truths may be simple at heart, but they are felt and experienced in complex ways and are often buried beneath multiple layers of memory, rationalization, and emotion.  It can take time to dig them out, and that's okay.
• Look for ways, events, or memories that illustrate that truth at other times in your life.
• Write these less important stories first.  They will give you the practice you need to tell the crucial story that you want effectively.
• Consider that you may introduce portions of these stories later, in and around the story you really want to tell.
• Look for moments to emphasize that truth in this initial story.
• When you are finally ready to write this story, you want to consider issues like uniting imagery, foreshadowing, and changing distance in the event.
• Write and rewrite if this particular moment is important to you.  Sometimes we say that we don't have time to rewrite, but if your goal in this one memory is to communicate an important truth to your family, I can guarantee that your emotions and the complexity of your associations with the event will absolutely cloud that first draft, the second draft, and many others.  If it's important to you, make the effort to really do it.  Write it once or twice and then set it aside and come back.  Repeat as often as needed.  
• Don't give up if your intended audience doesn't get it.  Some may never get it, but others will.  Those others may just be the family of your heart.